Programmer Jokes, IT Jokes, General “Not Funny” Jokes

The results of ‘come up with the most “not funny” IT jokes’ competition….

Q: The captain hands you seven short hotdogs followed by a long wiener. What are you supposed now?
A: You must run to the nearest Mustard Station.

Q: How would you describe writing a user guide?

A: “Manual” labor


Q: What do you call a bus that is packed with various breakfast items?
A: Universal Cereal Bus


Q: How do call Bolognese in a pot with the lid off?

A: Open sauce


Q: What happens when a programmer tries a brand-new, exceptional food and then dies instantly?

A: Fatal exception


Q: What do exterminators and programmers have in common?

A: They spend most of their time debugging


Q: What is the person’s name who throws a party?

A: Localhost


Q: What does the programmer call his ex-girlfriend?



Q: What happens to a programmer when confronted with Thousand Coding Problems non-stop?

A: He passes out from TCP exhaustion.


Q: What happens when a programmer receives a call from his girl friend on Halloween?
A: He suffers a non-maskable interrupt.


Q: Why do programmers rarely move their heads?
A: To reduce context switching


Q: What component is developed first for a new product at Microsoft?
A: The automatic update function


Q: Which programming language should you avoid if you don’t want to deal with STD issues all day?

A: C++
Q: What can a programmer build with a 6 ft. pine board with a wig and and two baby bottle nipples?

A: A motherboard replacement


Q: What does a programmer call his first kid?

A: “Int 3”

Q: And the last kid?

A: “Alt+F4”


Q: Software runs on top of hardware. But what’s underneath hardware?
A: Underware

Do you have more programmer jokes? Please add to comment section below!

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