Dentist Jokes

I use this page to collect dentist jokes. Feel free to contribute in the comment section!

Also check out Part II!


Dentist Joke #1

What’s the difference between a dentist and a donkey?

The donkey scores high in agreeableness.


Dentist Joke #2

Did you know, students wishing to become physicians need to take the MCAT test. Dentists take the DAT.

Which other professional group takes the DAT?



Dentist Joke #3

What’s the longest lasting tooth restoration procedure a dentist offers?

Tooth extraction.


Dentist Joke #4

When people go to get dentures they need to get all teeth pulled out. How is this procedure called?

Dental circumcision.


Dentist Joke #5

Dentists like to take x-rays of your teeth to look at rather than look inside your dirty mouth.

They call it Dental Radiographic Diagnosis. What’s another term for a dentist looking at x-rays?

Pulp fiction.


Dentist Joke #6

Here’s an insider joke. What’s it called when you’ve got an amalgam filling, a gold crown, and a silver crown in the same mouth:



Dentist Joke #7

You are at the dentist office, getting a drill of a lifetime. The pain in your ear becomes unbearable. You tell the dentist about your ear pain.

How does the dentist respond?

She grabs a megaphone and screams right into your ear: “Would you like more novocaine?”


Dentist Joke #8

What’s the difference between a parrot and a dentist?

Parrots and other talking birds have a vocabulary of up to 2,000 words and are not afraid to use it (See here)


Dentist Joke #9

What’s the difference between a vulture and a dentist?

Vultures wait until their prey is dead.


Dentist Joke #10

Why do rats have such strong teeth?

Because rat poison consists predominantly of fluoride.


Dentist Joke #11

What’s the difference between dentists and Adolf Hitler?

Adolf Hitler had a passion: painting.


Dentist Joke #12

What’s another term for regular dental cleanings and x-rays?

Dentist subsidies.


Dentist Joke #13

Which were the top professions or new career paths chosen by concentration camp officers after World War II?

Dentists, dentist assistants, physicians, and last but not least, teachers.


Dentist Joke #14

What’s the most effective way to protect your teeth?

Extract them all and place them in a glass with pure alcohol.


Dentist Joke #15

No joke, true story: How about a tooth filling that eliminates tooth pain once and for all!?

Well guess what! The military has invented such dental procedure, loooong time go!

Why do dentists not perform this procedure? It’s simple. Your pain = their income! They would be stupid indeed to perform this procedure.

It would reduce their customer value (you) to zero!

So here are some details about the filling. Whenever you get tooth pain all you need to do is bite on something hard. That’s it!

No more pain, ever!


After that the tooth pain immediately subsides. Yes it’s that simple! And it was invented long time ago, over 70 years ago

Don’t believe me? See here; a famous owner of such a tooth was Himmler.


Dentist Joke #16

How is a dentist the opposite of a cow?

Because s/he is milking others!


Dentist Joke #17

How do dentists announce they’re going to lie to you?

They say…”Hello!”


Dentist Joke #18

 Why are so many dentists LSD addicts?

It helps them find more cavities…


Dentist Joke #19

Why does a dentist appear more trustworthy than a psychic to the general public?

He can show you visual ‘proof’ for his fairy tale, aka dental x-ray.


Dentist Joke #20

Why can’t computers replace dentists [yet]?

Because they lack the vivid imagination required to see cavities in a dental x-ray.


Dentist Joke #21

What’s the dentist’s most favorite tool?

The mirror


Dentist Joke #22

What’s the most favorite place for a dentist?

A room full of mirrors….


Dentist Joke #23

Which smurf should have been the dentist in The Smurfs?

Vanity smurf, obviously!


Dentist Joke #24

Everyone tries to save money. Which part of the dental practice are dentists trying to minimize or even eliminate completely?

The patients…


Dentist Joke #25

What makes the dentist happy?

When you scream HELP! It strokes their ego and makes them feel like a hero because someone actually needs them


Dentist Joke #26

why do people choose to become dentists?
so they can look down at people all day


Dentist Joke #27

where does the word dentist come from?
from the latin phrase: narcissus denticus


Dentist Joke #28

why do dentists wear a surgeon’s mask?

so you can’t see their teeth


Dentist Joke #29

what facial expression on a patient’s face makes the dentist scared?
showing your teeth


Dentist Joke #30

 Why do dentists have assistants?

They need someone to hide behind like all good professionals


Dentist Joke #31

Dentist Dr. Adolf Lucifurus opened a new gigantic dentist office on the I-95 which required its own new highway exit 23. What does his sign say?

Either my way or the highway!


Also check out Part II! If you’ve had enough boring jokes to read, head over to an even more boring post: how to backup Hyper-V without losing a tooth…